Day 10: '40 Until 40' The Performance of Peonies
A swansong as I alter my project to fit around family life
‘40 Until 40’ is a poetry project to keep me creative over the forty days that lead up to my big 4-0 birthday. A gift to myself of time to write in the whirlwind of new motherhood. Each day I choose a 35mm photo I have taken over the last decade and see what words want to be with it. Process wise I’m open to whatever works on a given day, but I have some new methods I’m keen to try so let’s see where they lead me…
Day 10
I’ve decided to pause my project and have accepted that I won’t be able to continue it for the next 30 days. It was going well and I was usually a day ahead so that I felt less stressed having to produce a poem on the day — but life with a young baby has made it too difficult to continue, which I suspected may happen!
I wanted my writing challenge to invigorate me but it’s having the opposite effect. Unfortunately my project is coinciding with a change in Quinn’s needs, some kind of growth spurt I’m sure, but it just doesn’t leave me with any spare focus for writing right now.
So far, I’ve been really surprised by the results of writing to a challenge and I’ve worked well outside my comfort zone, producing poems I’m very proud of. It’s a shame to lose the cumulative effect of writing every day as I feel the writing gets better when I do. However, I’m planning to alter my project slightly to more of a ‘40 for 40’ concept. That means I’ve got a whole year to finish the other 30 poems.
So here is the last one for now.
And breathe…
The Photo
I took this photo in 2018 on the first roll of film I used in my Olympus Trip, having just bought it from a restorer of vintage cameras. It was a hot summer’s day and I think I was going to a party in London, staying over with a friend and decided to hit the shops first. This is the flower stall at Liberty on the Great Marlborough Street entrance. I daren’t ask how much a bunch of peonies was as Liberty is synonymous with luxury but I love wandering the shop. It’s utterly unique as it’s made from ships.
In 1922, the builders Messrs Higgs & Hill were given a lump sum of £198,000 to construct it, which they did from the timbers of two ancient 'three-decker' battle ships.
The Poem
The Process
It took a long time to decide which photo to use. I was writing something with a different one but was struggling to take it anywhere so scrapped it. To start this poem, I noticed the peonies in the photo and looked up facts to do with them and came across the greek mythology of Paen, and the fact that Zeus changed Paen into a peony to protect him from the wrath of his mentor. Thinking about the qualities of a peony (which is my favourite flower) I was struck by how grand and attention seeking they are and pondered around the idea of this being because Paen is trying to be seen and freed. The opening line came from this thought process but then I veered off into links to peonies that were centred around the stage, dance and performance.
Likening the Can-can dancer’s skirt to peony petals was an image that came easily and the idea of the escape artist with the unopened buds. I worked the rest out by thinking of the peony attribute or behaviour and then what may match up to that from the world of performance and the stage.
I needed to simplify and remove quite a lot with this poem - I was over explaining. The end was a lot more convoluted with an extra simile that I realised really added nothing.
For something quite rushed I’m happy with the end piece. I never did get the Greek mythology to work in the poem but it was what started the cogs whirring. I always find it interesting the different direction something wants to go, I believe the poem always has its own ideas!
My writing is free to access but if you wanted to show a small sign of appreciation, hot drinks on maternity leave are always welcome!
Jade x