So much pressure! You capture the feelings of the holding period so well. It reminds me of this essay on the pressure for a perfect pregnancy: https://velamag.com/superbabies-dont-cry/
Thanks for the essay link Liz - a really thought-provoking read. I’m definitely working with lots of questions around my perception of the perfect scenario vs what will actually give me what I want.
What an incredible read. I’m so glad you linked this here. It validates and echoes so many thoughts that I’ve had on so many of the topics it touches on. Self-blame or surrender: when so much is out of our control, it really does seem to come down to that one choice, doesn’t it?
Thanks for being here Ema - your Substack is a great place to be too I’ve just signed up. I’m glad the candid nature of my writing is doing the one thing I set out to do which is help others feel less alone within the struggle to conceive. My rage just lessened a little bit!
Many thanks to Ryan for sharing your piece on her Substack; your writing resonates so deeply, Jade. I’m three years into trying to conceive, with four miscarriages. Unfortunately at 43, I’m now at the end of the road, and I’m ready to give in to the longing to escape (I’ve been writing about it on my Substack at www.lizexplores.com, if you’re interested). To stop choking down dozens of supplements a day. To stop fretting about every paper receipt I touch. To eat pizza again. This weekend I’m buying an old camper van, and I’ve got half a mind to drive it to Alaska this summer. To get away, as you’ve said, from the memories and reminders. To process my grief. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not alone; thank you for writing. 🙏
Hi Liz, I’m so glad you found my work has resonated with you. I’ve just subscribed to your Substack because I NEED to keep up with your extremely cool campervan escapades. I’m so sorry about what you have endured to get to this point but I find the fact you are stopping and putting different dreams on the table (at least for now) really inspiring and where true strength lies...most people assume it’s in the carrying on no matter what, no matter the shell of a person infertility and pregnancy loss leaves you. I hope your campervan brings you so much joy and very little strife/mechanical failures!! Xx
Thank you so much, Jade! When it comes to infertility, I think we each have our own limit in terms of what we can endure in the face of whatever odds we have, which in my case are now less than one percent. It feels like an act of surrender and acceptance to begin to move on. And besides, everyone says that people struggling with fertility get pregnant as soon as they stop trying. 😂
I’m really excited about the van, and glad to have you follow along on my journey! I look forward to following yours as well.
So much pressure! You capture the feelings of the holding period so well. It reminds me of this essay on the pressure for a perfect pregnancy: https://velamag.com/superbabies-dont-cry/
Thanks for the essay link Liz - a really thought-provoking read. I’m definitely working with lots of questions around my perception of the perfect scenario vs what will actually give me what I want.
What an incredible read. I’m so glad you linked this here. It validates and echoes so many thoughts that I’ve had on so many of the topics it touches on. Self-blame or surrender: when so much is out of our control, it really does seem to come down to that one choice, doesn’t it?
Thank you for writing so candidly. The rage and comparison are real and what a thing to reckon with. It is something to feel less alone in it all.
Thanks for being here Ema - your Substack is a great place to be too I’ve just signed up. I’m glad the candid nature of my writing is doing the one thing I set out to do which is help others feel less alone within the struggle to conceive. My rage just lessened a little bit!
Amen to all of this. Please pop me in the sidecar of that motorcycle!
We’re riding the Amalfi Coast 😍
Yes x 1000.
Many thanks to Ryan for sharing your piece on her Substack; your writing resonates so deeply, Jade. I’m three years into trying to conceive, with four miscarriages. Unfortunately at 43, I’m now at the end of the road, and I’m ready to give in to the longing to escape (I’ve been writing about it on my Substack at www.lizexplores.com, if you’re interested). To stop choking down dozens of supplements a day. To stop fretting about every paper receipt I touch. To eat pizza again. This weekend I’m buying an old camper van, and I’ve got half a mind to drive it to Alaska this summer. To get away, as you’ve said, from the memories and reminders. To process my grief. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not alone; thank you for writing. 🙏
Hi Liz, I’m so glad you found my work has resonated with you. I’ve just subscribed to your Substack because I NEED to keep up with your extremely cool campervan escapades. I’m so sorry about what you have endured to get to this point but I find the fact you are stopping and putting different dreams on the table (at least for now) really inspiring and where true strength lies...most people assume it’s in the carrying on no matter what, no matter the shell of a person infertility and pregnancy loss leaves you. I hope your campervan brings you so much joy and very little strife/mechanical failures!! Xx
Thank you so much, Jade! When it comes to infertility, I think we each have our own limit in terms of what we can endure in the face of whatever odds we have, which in my case are now less than one percent. It feels like an act of surrender and acceptance to begin to move on. And besides, everyone says that people struggling with fertility get pregnant as soon as they stop trying. 😂
I’m really excited about the van, and glad to have you follow along on my journey! I look forward to following yours as well.